Pain is almost always an unwelcome visitor we want to get rid of as soon as possible. Like an intruder who shows up without warning, pain robs us of our sense of peace and normalcy. Our first instinct is to see it as a threat to our well-being, something that must be gone so we can return to enjoying our lives. Unfortunately, pain doesn't always go away, even when there is no reason for it to stay.
When pain lingers or fluctuates without warning, it is often associated with anxiety, frustration, and depression. We tend to ruminate over what we're doing to make the pain worse, if we're doing something causing more damage, or what life will be like if it never goes away. These concerns often make the suffering worse than the actual discomfort itself.
Most of us take for granted that our bodies can easily move us from point A to point B, rejuvenate with a good night's sleep, and enables us to function in our daily roles. So, what happens when pain takes over our daily routine and threatens our existence as we once knew it? We feel betrayed. We lose trust in the body that has carried us around for so many years. The body that has let us exercise to manage stress. The body that has taken us on adventures. The body that has allowed us to work, to earn a living. The body that has born our children and taken care of our elderly parents.
How could this body turn on us when we finally get to enjoy life with a little extra freedom of time and money?
I am suggesting that we reframe the question. Instead, ask, "What is my body trying to tell me with these messages of pain?"
When we get curious about what our bodies are communicating, we may find answers that heal more than just physical pain. We may gain insights into issues that have also been manifesting as insomnia, anxiety, GI issues, or depression. Below are some common themes that come up when we ask our bodies what they want us to know:
Please set healthy boundaries
When pain shows up knocking at the door, it may be time to establish healthy boundaries for yourself. These may include setting boundaries with work, family, or friends. Boundaries include saying no to things you don't want to do and saying yes to things you do want (i.e., staying home instead of going out). Pay attention to how your body responds to your lifestyle, schedule, and commitments. It may tell you it needs some downtime to recharge and recover.
I am worthy of being taken care of
Pain can challenge our beliefs about our worthiness. Do we think we are worth spending the time and money for physical therapy, massage, Pilates, or acupuncture? Are we worth prioritizing our health over work or other obligations? Do we value our bodies enough to keep them strong and well-nourished? Our beliefs of worthiness may be passed down from
generations before us. If our parents did not value their health, chances are we did not learn to value ours. This is a lesson that must be learned and can show up for us through pain, disease, and mental health issues.
I need to know things are ok
Our bodies may respond to stress, anxiety, depression, and loneliness by giving us pain. The central nervous system perceives these chronic states as dangerous and sets off alarms that can cause chronic pain. We can begin by acknowledging difficult or unwanted thoughts and emotions instead of ignoring or numbing them. This may bring up trauma from the past that can be processed with the help of a therapist. By accepting all emotions, including the difficult ones, we can calm the central nervous system and turn the volume down on pain.
I need a time-out
Healing does not just refer to tissues, such as joints and muscles, but also to our hearts, minds, and spirits. Life can take a toll on our entire beings; sometimes, we need time to rest and recover. When we feel emotionally exhausted, our bodies can relay the message that it's time to take a break. This message can come in the form of pain, fatigue, anxiety, or depression. You can replenish your physical and emotional well-being by giving yourself time, space, quiet, and rest.
It's my turn
After years of taking care of kids, dogs, a spouse, work, and home, it may be time to give ourselves some attention. It is possible that our bodies need to trust us again to take care of
them. When our efforts have been focused outwardly for several years, focusing on our own needs can feel uncomfortable or selfish. But our bodies can send us pain signals to tell us it's time to focus on caring for ourselves. This may include rest, play, exercise, or meditation, to name only a few ideas.
By being curious about what our bodies are expressing through pain, we can re-establish trust that we are taking care of our physical bodies and that our physical bodies will continue to take care of us.
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